The Emotional Storm

May has come and gone. Time for another blog entry. Today is June 1st and in a few short weeks, I will be turning 41. Crazy! Even crazier is that according to the way Korean people calculate age (they count your time in the womb as your first year, which I think is pretty cool) I’m already 42. Yikes!

Anyway, this month has been rough. I’m not going to lie. My emotions have basically been running amuck. It doesn’t help that I’m fairly certain I’m starting to hit the pre-menopause stage. Regardless, the transition this month has had me in tears multiple times. Maybe even daily. I’ve been meeting people and starting to make friends, but this is hard work enough when at home. Now add being a million miles away and adjusting to a new culture to the mix.  I’m sure I’ve snapped a time or two, as well as had at least one disheartening experience on the difficult journey of trying to rebuild your support system.

I decided to take the slow route as far as getting involved with things and taking trips and such. Three months into living here and I think it’s time (if not past time) to make myself do some things. As such, I will be taking a trip to Seoul in a couple of weeks. There is a three day weekend coming and I have booked myself a spot on a tour of the DMZ as well as two nights at a hotel (with a BATHTUB, Hallelujah!) in Seoul.

Emotions and difficulties aside, I really am loving it here. I know I’m where I’m supposed to be, but I’d be lying if I said everything was smooth sailing.  Sometimes in life people talk about reinventing themselves. I’m not interested in doing that, I like myself pretty well…most of the time…and I know who and whose I am.  However, I am up for learning how to be more and more “me.” The conclusion I’ve come to is that when you are living in a new country getting to know new people and new ways of doing things that all of your flaws come bubbling to the surface and get magnified in ways that just sometimes aren’t pretty. Be it in your own mind or truly so.

So, I share this because it’s too easy to post only the best of everything on social media. Life is hard, and sometimes it’s better to turn the light on and say it’s hard.

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4 Responses to The Emotional Storm

  1. preach that! you should be exploring. and it’s doing the tough things that make us stronger. remember that the trail blazers are the ones that clear the path for those who follow after. you are doing the hard work because God knows you got the spine for it and the will to persevere. you got this! the right people will come your way. prepare to be amazed at what the Lord has for you!

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  2. Maribel says:

    Very brave and commendable to post your vulnerable and not so pleasant side. Your right many people on social media tend to post only the up sides of their lives, but are never brave enough to post the not so pretty side of things. Making the viewers to assume, “wow they sure have a great life!” When so much is hidden. I appreciate you expressing your struggles and my advise to you is add the bible says, “this too shall pass”. It is still very early on you have plenty of exploring to still do. You will be just fine!

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